Toni laughingIt was important to me to create opportunities for yoga to happen.  The yoga tree is that place.  It is part of my vision that yoga students and teachers find a place to express their own understanding of this rich and ancient tradition.  Please enjoy  the work of one of our students, Ann Nauwelaers as she explores the concept of Brahmacharya or moderation….


Yoga Sutra II.38 Vitality appears in one who is firmly set in moderation.

~ Patanjali as translated by Bouanchaud

Although usually thought of as celibacy (state of not having sex). Brahmacharya entails a lot more. It really means self-restraint and self-discipline on all levels. Therefore it is vital to everyone seeking higher consciousness or spirituality, whether monastic, married, or unmarried.

1. “Is moderation valid if it appears only in certain spheres, for example in the sensual, but not in the emotional?

As Yogis we strive to harness the energy which creates the universe (Brahma = God of creation) and to direct this flow of energy through our being. We need to do this moderately because our life force is both limited and precious. So instead of an endless pursuit of fleeting pleasures we need to use this power to find and express our inner selves. If we use our energy wisely we possess the resources to live a fulfilling life.

(Source: Teaching the Yamas in Asana Class by Aadil Palkhivala)

2. “Can one person in a couple live in moderation without his or her partner agreeing to it or sharing it?”

One person, after having deeply pondered the whole basis of life, can say: “I want to achieve something great, something mighty. Therefore I cannot afford to deplete the energies that I have. The more I conserve, the more I can divert into that achievement and the greater the chance of succeeding.” So thinking and having understood the rationale of it and fully appreciating the ultimate achievement it would lead to, one can voluntarily and willingly attempt to enter into a life that is the life of God.

However, if brahmacharya is forced upon an individual against his will, abnormal conditions naturally may result, because the person is being compelled to do something that deep within himself he does not want to do. This can happen if he feels pressured by  others, by social restraints or by taking up vows that he should not have taken before having well considered the implications.   (Source: The Role of Celibacy in Spiritual Life by Swami Chidananda)

Ann Nauwelaers

Swami Chidananda on CELIBACY

Brahmacharya is neither repressing sexuality nor avoiding sexuality. It is just bypassing sexuality in order to attain something a hundred times greater. Therefore, the question of repression and suppression is a misnomer. It is due to a lack of proper understanding of what the real spiritual quest is. We are not just human beings; we are more than human beings. Our human status is only a pale reflection of what we really are. What appears to be a sort of denial is actually giving full self-expression to a higher dimension of your being. So, far from denying self-expression, it is giving full expression to yourself because you are no longer identified with the lesser aspect of your total personality. You are identified with the higher aspect. That is the whole purpose of human existence. Human life has been given to us as a passageway to Divinity, as a passageway to everlasting life.

Among all the bodily processes, most have become mechanical and automatic: eating, drinking, sleeping, voiding. The one process  most  people purposefully engage in, with great desire for it–wanting it, thinking about it, planning for it and going after it–is sex enjoyment. This means sex is a process that directs your entire attention, mind and consciousness upon the physical, and upon that part of your physical nature that you share in common with the entire animal kingdom. (1) Is this going to be in any way helpful for attaining Cosmic Consciousness? If you are a spiritual seeker, can you not see that you are working against yourself? You have to liberate your consciousness from the lesser levels in order to lift it to progressively higher state of consciousness.

If you want to understand the practice of celibacy through an analogy, consider an athlete whose great ambition is to win a gold medal at the Olympics. He will willingly put himself into the hands of a trainer, and if the trainer says, “No more late night revelry, no more sex, no more junk food, no more alcohol,” the athlete readily agrees.  Why? Because he wants the gold medal. And no one raises an eyebrow, no one is outraged. Why?  Because the gold medal justifies all these so-called “inhibitions.” You cannot say that he’s doing violence to or repressing himself, because he is not looking at it that way. He is willing to do anything that the trainer demands of him. It is not imposed upon him by other people. We understand why he is doing it.

  1. Man is a mixture of three ingredients: first, an animal with all the physical propensities and sense urges that one shares in common with animals; second, the rational, logical human level; and third, the dormant Divinity, the sleeping God within.

Ann Nauwelaers

MORE vs MODERATION (Brahmacharya)


The answer for our restlessness, our boredom, our anxiousness and unhappiness?

More stimulation. more sex, more movies, more music, more drinking, more money, more freedom, more food.

More of anything as the cure for everything?

We seek extremes (extreme sports, extreme deodorant, extreme energy drinks, even an Extreme Teen Bible Study) because we erroneously believe that the more intense an experience is, the more pleasurable it will be.

Yet paradoxically, the more stimulation we receive, the less joy and enjoyment we get out of it.


The key to experiencing greater fulfillment and pleasure.

“Hara Hachi Bu”

Japanese Saying: Eat until eighty percent full.

Can we apply this to other areas of our life?

Many references in The Bible:

Ephesians 5: 18, Proverbs 23: 29-35, Titus 2:7, …

Proverbs 23:20-21 Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.

“Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance” Epicurus (Greek philosopher 340 BC)

Seeking greater enjoyment and pleasure in things you are already doing now.

  • Reconnect with your senses
  • Get reacquainted with your attention span
  • Take a fast from stimulation versus Overstimulation
  • Delay your gratification – Patience

What do you think of the idea: “Moderation in all things, including moderation

Can moderation be taken to excess?

How Moderation Can Increase Our Pleasure

When we feel unhappy and bored there are two ways to revive our feelings of enjoyment and pleasure.

One is to seek new things and more stimulation. You can start going out more, having sex more, and buying more new things and experiences. But the pleasure you get from ratcheting up the intensity of these experiences will eventually end in a plateau.

The alternative is to cultivate the virtue of moderation by seeking greater enjoyment and pleasure in things you are already doing now. HOW?

Reconnect with Your Senses. We live in a society saturated by stimulation. We have become numbed to nuance. You don’t need new stimulation; you need to rediscover the hidden layers of ordinary experiences. Stop wolfing down your food. Start tasting the unique flavors and textures of each mouthful. Instead of doing a keg stand and chugging cheap beer, learn to savor and appreciate the craftsmanship that goes into a quality brew. Start allowing yourself to feel some awe when you look at the night sky. Start actually thinking about how touching your girlfriend’s skin feels. We’re usually walking through life like zombies. Wake up and start delving into the wonder of the world.

Get Reacquainted with Your Attention Span. Whenever I rent movies from several decades ago, I am struck by how much slower the pacing of the action is. Things seem to happen in real time. I can feel myself get slightly antsy during these parts. But the problem is my attention span, not the movie. Similarly, sometimes when my computer is going a little slowly, I get very frustrated. But then I think, “man, it was only a few years ago that I had dial-up.” Our expectations for speed and stimuli have gotten unreasonable. Start stretching your attention span by watching old movies, reading the newspaper, and reading a good, long book. And when you get restless, try to put things in perspective. Cultivate patience: no tapping your foot impatiently while standing in front of the microwave, or expecting the elevator door to open immediately after pushing the button?

Stop multitasking and be present in the moment. If you’re like me, you’re always doing two things at once: talking on the phone and surfing the net, surfing the net and watching TV, watching TV and reading a magazine, ect. But this craving only cultivates the need for more stimulation. Try to do one task at a time. Quit mindlessly distracting yourself every moment. Concentrate your senses and focus on whatever it is you are doing.

Take a fast from stimulation. Too much stimulation overloads our sensory circuits. It is thus essential to unplug and get away. The best thing to do is to get out into the outdoors. Leave your phone and computer behind. If you don’t have the opportunity to do this, at least try a phone and/or internet “fast.” Pick one day a week where you don’t check either. Especially our audio and visual senses are over stimulated. We expect to be entertained every waking moment.

Delay your Gratification. The more you hold out for something, the greater the pleasure you’ll experience when you finally attain it. If you eat ice cream everyday, it’s not going to taste as good as it would if you ate it only once a month. The more you hold out for that new car, the more pleasure you will feel when you finally get it. Have you ever noticed that the anticipation of a holiday can be just as good and sometimes better than the actual holiday itself?

Source: Wanting More: the challenge of enjoyment in the age of addiction” by Mark D Chamberlain


Ann Nauwelaers, 200RYT candidate Yoga Tree Plano

Gratitude:  By Toni Farris

Gratitude is transformative.  Everyone says it, but somehow it hadn’t really hit me until I started the studio.  Somehow, every part of my life was under construction all at once.   We were struggling to complete the studio; negotiations on the lease, working to build out the space, setting the schedule.  Of course, it was time to leave the security of working for LifeTime Fitness after 5 formative years to build a new way of teaching those who need Yoga.  At home, two leaks under the slab of my home required a full bathroom, kitchen, living, hallway and boys bathroom remodel.  During the 5 weeks it took to redo the house, all aspects of my life were in obvious reconstruction.  (I’ll spare you the personal relationship details, but romantic, family and friend relationships all took a good overhaul as well.)

You would think each day would be a festival of self-pity and complaining.  But really, I had total faith that all was well and for the best.  Each element of my experience was a gift.  The destruction around me made space for renewal.  Somehow through the practice of yoga, my mind was able to stay in a place that could recognize all the gifts the universe was bestowing on me.  Each day, the bare foundation of my house was just dirt under my feet to keep me grounded in what a beautiful house I’m blessed to live in with my healthy children.  Each insurance check was evidence of the abundance in the universe.  The help from my family was evidence of the love I am blessed with.

I came to better understand the discussion Manorama gave on the Bhagavad Gita;  “Guruji said pray for more problems.”  What does that mean?   Manorama explained, “Problems bring suffering and suffering makes us reach out to become more aware… because we don’t want to suffer.  Therefore problems bring awareness. And awareness is the tool to reduce suffering.”  It seems simple.  But really, the awareness of all that we have to be grateful for is the key to being happy in each given moment.  That gratitude in the midst of our problems is the key to happiness.  So this Thanksgiving, go for something a bit less obvious when it is your turn to say what you are grateful for.  This year I’m going for slab leaks and difficult bosses…  I wish you many fruitful problems this holiday season.

Toni Farris

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